5 great ways to develop independence in children

As a parent, the number one goal that anyone should have is to successfully prepare your child to be a happy, independent, confident future member of society. Because after all, babies don’t keep and one day they grow into adults. If those adults continue to rely on their parents to service their every need—can we really say that those goals that we had for our children have been met? It’s important that you first understand how to successfully find a balance between creating a nurturing environment and fostering independence in your child.

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1) offer diy opportunities

It’s important that we listen to our children, because fairly often they will let us know when they’re ready to “do it themselves”. It’s difficult as a parent to watch your child struggle or even fail—but it’s important that parents realize that this struggle is often harder on them than it is the child. Each opportunity to zip their own jacket, put on their own pants, or pour their own drink, provides an opportunity for growth, practice, and ultimately success. If parents allow their children to fail, they are teaching them that things will not always come easily the first time that they try something, and that persistence and practice are key life principles. 

2) Implement a routine

Giving a child the ability to know what comes next in their daily routine gives them a sense of control and understanding that simply wouldn’t exist if they were left in the dark about their daily agenda. Visual schedules are a wonderful tool for parents to utilize with their children to help them understand the concept of time and to plan out their day. This schedule also allows parents the opportunity to prepare children for any changes in their schedule ahead of time.

3) Get on their level

It’s pretty difficult for a child to be independent if their environment was created solely for their adult-counterparts. You may want to consider placing their cups on a small table within their reach, lowering their clothing racks, putting books on the bottom shelf, or leaving their favorite toys in an easily accessible space. Montessori-style furniture can be a great resource when making these changes to your home. Not only will this alleviate the need for mom/dad to grab what the child needs, every time they need it, but it also allows the child to pick and choose what they want to do throughout the day with little assistance. 

4) Accept Help

If you’ve ever been the parent of a toddler I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “Can I help?” If you think back on your answer, how many times have you said yes? Sometimes it’s easier to tell the child “No, I don’t need help right now” but what does that teach them? It’s important to involve children in daily activities throughout the house. Obviously it’s not safe to allow a 2 year old to cook on the stove, but it would be beneficial to allow them to stir ingredients, start the timer, or turn on the mixer. These seemingly small roles may appear insignificant to us, but involving a child in these daily tasks can do wonders for their self-confidence and independence.

5) Don't be a referee 

Nothing teaches your child how to navigate life’s problems like allowing them to resolve their own conflicts. This can often be the most difficult for parents, as they so often want to come to their child’s rescue in social situations, or even scold them into sharing with their friends. But trusting in the social skills of young children can do wonders for a child’s ability to resolve conflicts and engage in positive social interactions on their own. Children will inevitably argue and have conflict, but if they’re taught that they are capable of solving it without adult intervention, they will ultimately be more successful in these skills as an adult.

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Have you found any successful strategies to help foster independence in your child? Have you come across any barriers to the aforementioned strategies? Let me know!